Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Young Alice fell into a hole
To find a white rabbit, her goal
Adventures she had
Too much by a tad
The lass came back pregnant, I'm told

Monday, September 29, 2008

Running On Emptiness

It seems that for business we're closed
No limericks here are composed
The tires all squeal
No hands on the wheel
The writers apparently dosed

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Royal To A Tee

I once met a painter from Spain
Whose paintings were plainly quite plain
He said "Here's the thing,
Art must please the King,
In Spain it's for mainly the reign!"

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Dead Tired

I'd sleep, but with nightmares I'm filled
of graveyards where no one stays killed
While zombies ingest
how can a guy rest?
His brains and his dreams are both spilled

Friday, September 26, 2008

Lemon Wedged

Contracting a citrus disease
the lemon was filled with unease
To fruit gods appealed,
and then, having kneeled
it bowed to the big yellow squeeze

Thursday, September 25, 2008

No Cheers For Years

Tomoji Tanabe at 113

Becoming the world's oldest man
requires a stringent health plan
If stretching one's years
means giving up beers
I'd rather just die..hey, Bud Man!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Closing Downer

No limericks scheduled today
We've nothing that's witty to say
Our minds are a blank
We've emptied the tank
We're closed and we're staying that way

That Rock In Chair Got Me

There's no place like home when deranged
Say, pal, can you part with some change?
I'm loose as a goose
I drank blue spruce juice
And recently came down with mange

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Walk in the Pork

It's news when it's man biting dog
What happens when guys go whole hog?
It takes a large fork
to lift all that pork
Does ham come with thick pea soup fog?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Fish Fried

A pair of identical twins
were born with identical fins
These look-alike freaks
would back-stroke in creeks
Till hooked, cleaned and packaged in tins

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Milled Stream

High beams I do deem are extreme
Ice cream gets me steamed and I scream
How low can I go?
I know I don't know
It seems like my dreams reign supreme

Teeming Pauly Shores

Some scream for a goal by their team
or scream during solos by Cream
But I save my yelling
for when my head's swelling
and scream when I'm blowing off steam

Saturday, September 20, 2008


When brokers and banks start to wail
the feds grab our money and bail
When Wall Streeters feed
their ravenous greed
why can't we just throw them in jail?

Friday, September 19, 2008

Candidate Not Candid

While tortured in prison, McCain
found love for U.S. kept him sane
Then why didn't he
condemn such abuse, clear and plain?

Though his acceptance speech defined him through his torture
as a P.O.W. in the Hanoi Hilton, it wasn't Republican nominee
John McCain, but instead was swiftboated John Kerry at the
Democratic convention who condemned the U.S. use of torture
and called for the closing of the U.S. prison at Guantanamo

Thursday, September 18, 2008

A Black Hole In One

When atoms are smashed and colliding
big answers we hope they're providing
But some are alarmed
and think we'll be harmed
when into a black hole we're sliding


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Other White Lie

A rose is a rose is a rose
and smells just as sweet, I suppose
But lipstick on pigs
will flip campaign wigs
Spin stinks like the truth decomposed

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Cracked whiffle ball bat in the alley
A soup spoon with gravy in galley
The daybreak comes soon
Like howling baboon
The bed's filled with glass shards, so shall we?

Prisoner of Love

Your lemon meringue pie is dreamy
Your personal life, though, is seamy
How can it be thus?
The sweet mixed with pus
Desire runs deeply, don't flee me

Rebel Without a Pause

Lim Law says three lines all must rhyme
And stop they all must on a dime
This couplet must be
This length exactly
It's way too confining so I'm...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Insane Brains?

Sunday, September 14, 2008


I ache in my knees and they creak
My back's on a long losing streak
I'm more or less lame
so must love the game
to run down the court every week

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Fairy Dusted

Alack and alas and forsooth
There isn't a Fairy of Tooth
Nor Claus, Easter Bunny
don't laugh--isn't funny--
for closed are the wide eyes of youth

Friday, September 12, 2008


In comics, time moves box by box
These 'panels' tick moments, like clocks
As movies have cuts,
between 'gutter' ruts,
the comics tell stories in blocks

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bar-B-Que & A

The suspect was grilled by a cop
for days under lights, and non-stop
"You'll talk or you'll fry!"
said cop, not a lie
They served him with hot sauce on top

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Freak Show Biz

Be it pinhead or midget or geek
never toy with the heart of a freak

If you hurt her or him
they will tear limb from limb
and in sideshows you'll squawk when you speak

Freaks (Tod Browning, 1932)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Dead Head of State

George Bush, bible stupid and smug
sweeps evidence under the rug
Ignoring the facts
as "decider", he acts
Our first sanctimonius thug

Monday, September 8, 2008

What Goes Around...

Let's hoist up our glasses to toast
Chris Neseman, a gracious co-host
His comics podcast
has managed to last
a bloated load longer than most

The Around Comics podcast on
comic books and related pop culture
has reached it's 200th episode.
Congrats to Chris, Tom, Sal and the
rest of the gang at

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Rock and Rolled

Ol' Sisyphus pushed to the peak
a boulder that made his back creak
When rock rolled back down
ol' Sis bore a frown
and let out a curse, but in Greek

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Johnny Griffin, R.I.P.

Though Griffin, in France, had chateau
like wind from Chicago he'd blow
Though short, he would tower
with solos of power
On sax Little Giant would grow

Johnny Griffin was the Little Giant of tenor sax

Friday, September 5, 2008

Dream Scream

Some guys fantasize about nailin'
the GOP veep, Sarah Palin
When boffin' in dreams
you'll often hear screams
Pro-lifers must hear babies wailin'

Learn more about the born again,
gun-toting governor here

Base Sarah, Sarah

A pit bull in lipstick and heels
Her lies and distortions cause squeals
From middle-aged whites
Who spend sleepless nights
Reciting their partisan spiels

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Rocks In My Bed, Blues In My Head

Late Saturday nights I don't snooze
but lay wide awake with the blues
In choice between sleep
and blues, down are deep
it's Blues Before Sunrise I choose

Every Saturday night catch Steve Cushing's Blues Before Sunrise, the best show on radio. I listen to it on WDCB, from Glen Ellen, Illinois, at 90.9 FM. Find out where you can hear it here, or here.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Ivan the Terrible

In comics Brunetti's revealed
the id that most others concealed
Both honest and vile
call it "auto-bile"
his Schizo stands out in the field

4 out of 5 doctors recommend
Ivan Brunnetti's Schizo,
available from Fantagraphic Books