Thursday, December 25, 2008

Auld Lang 'stein



The night before Christmas and lo
the castle was buried in snow
A monster was stirring
as engines were purring
and lab machines started to glow

A bearded guy carried a sack
Not Santa, but Igor, hunchback
His bag, full of brains
was covered with stains
from heads he had given a crack

As lightning continued to build
the doctor was tickled, then thrilled
He said, "It's alive!"
(I love Colin Clive)
and opened the champagne he'd chilled

But doc, who had wanted a son
would soon find his plans were undone
For Igor, the cad
used brain that was bad
Though he and the monster had fun

On Christmas the cold castle air
was warmed by a torch's red glare
The monster, when singed
became quite unhinged...
and hung Ig by the chimney with care

Art © 2012 Hilary Barta Color: Jason Millet

8 comments:

Norm Knott said...

The horn blows at midnight quite clear
Good King What's His Name drains his beer
Quite silent the night
Before the big fight
'Tween Rudolph and jealous reindeer

surlyh said...

The drummer boy bangs out a tune
as Santa flies over the moon
He drops toys and zips
past rockets and ships
and crashes on planet from Dune

Norm Knott said...

His workday complete, Santa Claus
Takes time to reflect and to pause
He downs a few beers
To bed he then steers
And carloads of wood he then saws

surlyh said...

Ms. Claus was annoyed at his snoring
for laying awake all night's boring
She crept from the bed
and out to the shed
where with all the elves she is whoring

Norm Knott said...

The toys that elves make after hours!
There're some that are battery powered
Ms. Claus tries them all
The large and the small
And makes sounds just like Curly How'rd

surlyh said...

The Elves have made many devices
to satisfy lonely wife vices
And one is so clever
just pull on a lever
and watch as it slices and dices

Norm Knott said...

There's one certain fav'rite vibrator
That works like a human rotator
Just clamp it inside
And go for a ride
You'll feel like you humped the equator

surlyh said...

Such thingies are quite habit forming
and to them North Pole wives are swarming
They kick up their feet
and generate heat
and thereby advance global warming