Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Stateroom Obscene?

An innocent, breezy, mute jester?
Or insolent, sleazy molester?
When getting some Zs
He'll pet, paw, and seize...
He'd pin down and squeeze Lady Esther!

Harpo plays tackle in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Who is Lady Esther, you ask?

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

I'll Seize You in My Dreams

When Groucho's a man on the make,
We frown on the randy old rake,
He can't get a pass
To plant hand on -- lass.
But Harpo can, when unawake.

Donald B. Benson

Harpo gets away with pre-code groping in the code-approved A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Quips Groucho, "Y'know, he does better asleep than I do awake."

Monday, August 21, 2017

Somnambulist to Starboard

Never doze with this lout on a trip
In repose, he spreads out on the ship
Though he isn't awake
Harpo's still on the make
And so's his redoubtable grip.

Harpo gropes his way through the stateroom scene in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Title by bored-to-sleep David Cairns.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

My Bare Lady

Miss Betty is more than eye candy
Her mettle's top drawer, she's just dandy
But what she does best
Is strut while half-dressed
And get the boys torrid and randy. 

Betty Boop cycles through Red Hot Mamma (1934). Title by naked ladies man Donald B. Benson.

Friday, August 18, 2017


He's weary, can't open an eye
Stand near him, you hope he'll pass by
In repose he's a lech
While dozing he'll stretch  
From the rear he will grope on the fly.

Harpo is half-asleep and all hands in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

Thursday, August 17, 2017

The Defendant Rests

Declared a big-name legal scholar:
"Is Harpo fair game for a collar?
By law he's a creep
But ah, he's asleep.
His lullaby! Blame it on Mahler!"

Donald B. Benson

Harpo manhandles the help in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Flunky's Paw

Harp glissandos imparted dexterity
Now his hands swiftly dart with celerity
He gets octopoid quickly
You'll be shocked! Are you tickly?
'Cause this randy upstart has temerity!

David Cairns

Harpo Marx is all over the ladies in Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Harpo plays Tomasso, "dresser" of opera singer Rodolfo Lassparri.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

All Hands On Deckhands

A steamship's small cabin, congested
Its teeming inhabitants nested
But asleep where he stands
Is a creep who's all hands
So some females are grabbed as he's rested.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

A somnambulant Harpo Marx mauls the maids in Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). 

Monday, August 14, 2017

Wolf at the Store

Don't call on this flop, though he's famous
Walk tall when you shop for a shamus
Give the go-by to Flywheel
He's nobody's i-deal
If you fall for his slop, well, don't blame us!

David Cairns

Harpo photobombs Groucho and Margaret Dumont in a still from The Big Store (Charles Reisner;1941). Groucho plays private eye Wolf J. Flywheel.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

She Boops to Conquer

Though our Boop girl is monochromatic
She's a trouper, hand-drawn, charismatic
When the images flicker
Our limbs tremble quicker
She's so super, we've gone quite ecstatic.

David Cairns

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Skinny on Aunt Minnie

In this scene they keep jamming 'em in
Like sardines one might cram in a tin
And speaking of feeds
What this cheek-to-jowl needs:
Lean Cuisine, so the famished stay thin.

A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

Thursday, August 10, 2017

In Like Fins

As stowaways barreled like herring
Each bro had a berth without sharing.
But this time, with means,
They're packed like sardines.
It's fishy how foully they're faring.

Donald B. Benson

Buster Keaton contributed to the visual comedy of the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). The Marxes were "stowaways barreled like herring" in Monkey Business (1931).

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Contents Under Pressure

Three Marxes, a tenor, and then
A girl who does nails, plus some men
To look at the plumbing --
Now waiters are coming
An aunt-hunter? Time to say when.

Donald B. Benson

The Marx Brothers fill the bill in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).