Saturday, October 22, 2016

Night of the Living Deadlegs

He rules with a bag of old tricks
This ghoul that no magic can fix
By hatred he's powered
By its weight's near devoured
It's the cruelest, most tragic of flicks.

Walter Huston as "Deadlegs" Flint in Kongo (William J. Cowen; 1932) This remake of West of Zanzibar (1928) attempts to outdo the Lon Chaney original in depravity.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Louse of Wax

At the kinky old goat Fay Wray's staring
Soon a pinkish wax coat she'll be wearing
But wait! There's the cops!
And the hateful guy drops--
In the drink he will float like a herring.

Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray visit The Mystery of the Wax Museum (Michael Curtiz; 1933), in glorious two-strip Technicolor. Title by Donald B. Benson, waxing eloquently.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Wax Finish

His vat is just seething with soup
Old Atwill, that heathen old poop
Has a wax job to spray
Upon flaxen-haired Fay
The mad bat wants her sheathed in this goop.

David Cairns

Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray in Mystery of the Wax Museum (Michael Curtiz; 1933).

Wednesday, October 19, 2016


It's not gay like the Waldorf or Ritz
In decay, it's all sprawl and no glitz
It's not straight, but it's solid
Though its state's rather squalid
It's a playhouse that calls for a Fritz.

Fritz the hunchback (Dwight Frye) is dwarfed by the castle stairwell in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931).

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

A Room With Abuse

The monster, by torture is greeted
He's put upon, scorched and mistreated
A sick little squirt
Likes inflicting the hurt
On this construct of corpses reheated.

Dwight Frye is Fritz, Boris Karloff is the monster, and Colin Clive is Henry something...oh, yeah. Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931).Title by effusive Donald B. Benson.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Countdown to Halloween 2016!

'Til the end of the month we'll be counting
The tension--or something--is mounting
Of our poems be wary
Though, you know what is scary?
My brother-in-law's in accounting!

LimerWrecks is just one of the many blogs and sites celebrating Halloween horrors all month. Visit the Countdown Headquarters for links to all of this year's participating spooks and spectres.

Creator, and Some of His Parts

How pleasant to know Mr. Clive
Who desires the prognosis "revive!"
He supplies the remains
With fresh eyes, feet and brains
And will presently crow, "It's alive!"

David Cairns

Boris Karloff is the monster, and Colin Clive is Henry, Henry Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Stick with us as we delve into Pre-Code Horrors in our annual limerick countdown to Halloween!

Friday, October 14, 2016

Mannequin's Best Friend

Although she is only a dummy,
Doc Gogol, the troll, thinks she's yummy
When he looks on Yvonne
The poor schnook gets turned on
And so, takes her home to get chummy.

In Mad Love (Karl Freund; 1935), Doctor Gogol (Peter Lorre) is obsessed with Yvonne Orlac (Frances Drake), the star of the Grand Guignol Theatre of Horrors. He's so obsessed that he buys her lookalike dummy to have it near him. Title by limerick-friendly David Cairns.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

No Briefs Encountered


"Invisible Man" was reviewed
By censors in search of the lewd.
In memos they wrote,
Did anyone note
His sins were all done in the nude?

Donald B. Benson

Claude Rains gets dressed in The Invisible Man (James Whale;1933). It's October 13th,  the perfect date to start our celebration of Pre-Code Horrors, which runs through Halloween.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Astor Risk


One's shamefully funny, robust
One's tame and well-done, upper-crust
The wise-cracking whore
Or the prize who's a bore
Two dames, only one you can trust.

Clark Gable is caught in a triangle with Jean Harlow and Mary Astor in Red Dust (Victor Fleming; 1932). What the film has to say about virtue is more nuanced than you might expect. Title by the risqué James Finn Garner.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Clark Raving Mad

Red-blooded, and get 'er done Gable
Looked ruddy and willing and able.
From ardor they'd swoon
For this star so rough-hewn
King stud of the Metro-run stable.

Clark Gable and Jean Harlow heat up Red Dust (Victor Fleming; 1932).

Monday, October 10, 2016

Of Humid Bondage

When cast as a matron demure
Mary Astor is stately and pure
Yet what Joe is so damp
He’d forgo the hot tramp?
High class doesn’t rate ‘gainst a hooer.

James Finn Garner

Red Dust (Victor Fleming; 1932). Rubber plantation ramrod Clark Gable (there's a, um, mouthful) is torn between married society dame Mary Astor and prostitute Jean Harlow. Title by Bond villain Donald B. Benson.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Indochina Pattern


No lady, she's lolled on the street
For a payday she's followed the fleet
Who'll he choose between classy
And this floozy who's brassy?
I'm afraid that this doll can't be beat.

Jean Harlow and Clark Gable star in Red Dust (Victor Fleming; 1932).This steamy melodrama about a love triangle is set on a rubber plantation in what was then called Indochina. Title by male patterned James Finn Garner.