Monday, November 16, 2015

Pardon the tumbleweeds...

...we'll be back after we wrestle with a few personal, non-limerick related issues. Thank you for your patience.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Hare Restorer

He's mad, in the lunatic mold
Post-grad, Henchman U you're enrolled
Though deploring his habits
(Like restoring dead rabbits)
You're bad, and you do as you're told.

"Eminent biochemist" Stendahl (Otto Kruger) employs Moloch (Rondo Hatton) as his partner in crime in The Jungle Captive (Harold Young; 1945). And yes, Stendahl brings a dead rabbit back to life, with the assistance of Don Young (Phil Brown) and Ann Forester (Amelita Ward). Title by hare-brained David Cairns.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Gland Guignol

Head and hands blown up, face like a troll
'Cause a gland's going out of control
You seek Hollywood work
Feeling squalid, you lurk
And expand, growing into the role.

David Cairns

Rondo Hatton lumbers through The Jungle Captive (Harold Young; 1945). The actor suffered from acromegaly, a hormonal disorder caused by the pituitary gland, which results in excessive growth in the bones of the head, hands and feet.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Jack-in-the-Box Office

The hicks buy the tix not elites
And flicks filled with apes fill the seats
Your actress shows skin?
You're packing 'em in!
And fixed for some shapely receipts.

John Carradine and Acquanetta star in Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943), which was followed by the sequels Jungle Woman and The Jungle Captive.

Monday, November 2, 2015

The Origin of the Specious

It's a sequel so cheap it's the worst
As they cheekily replay the first
So each scene is a bore
We have been here before
We should all seek to be reimbursed.

David Cairns

Sultry Acquanetta returns as the Jungle Woman (Reginald Le Borg, 1944), a sequel spawned by Captive Wild Woman. The story told in flashback by Dr. Carl Fletcher (J. Carrol Naish), reusing footage from the previous film.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Pituitary and the Pendulum

This maniac's great with a gland
With brains he's first rate, in demand
He cuts and transplants,
And nutso, he rants,
Explaining their date that he's planned.

John Carradine turns a gorilla into Acquanetta in Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943).

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Carnival Crews

Is the killer a primate hirsute?
A thrill-crazy, violent brute?
Or the eye candy tease
On the flying trapeze?
Or some villainous guy in a suit?

The 3-D horror mystery Gorilla at Large (Harmon Jones; 1954) has a cast that includes Cameron Mitchell, Anne Bancroft, Lee J. Cobb, Raymond Burr and Lee Marvin. George Barrows plays the gorilla. Happy Halloween from the hairless apes at LimerWrecks!

Friday, October 30, 2015

Laverne and Burly

With yearning the guys stop and gape
Laverne is in eye-popping shape
Though she might be a floozy
She's uptight and plays choosy
When spurning Goliath the ape.

Anne Bancroft plays Trapeze artist Laverne Miller in Gorilla at Large (Harmon Jones; 1954), a 3-D horror mystery. George Barrows is the gorilla "Goliath".

Thursday, October 29, 2015

A Gland Apart

Mad doctors are folks who play God
Wearing smocks they will poke, cut and prod
With their capable hands
They give apes human glands...
This one's rockin' a smokin' hot bod.

An endocrinologist turns an ape into a woman in Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943).  Cheela, the gorilla (Ray Corrigan), Dr. Sigmund Walters (John Carradine), his assistant, Miss Strand (Fay Helm), Dorothy Colman (Martha MacVicar, on the operating table), and "Paula Dupree" (Acquanetta), aka the Wild Woman. 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Gorilla Can't Help It

True science this sicko perverts
When primate to chick he converts
The ape-girl, "Acqua-tic",
Is shapely, exotic
It's a crime she so quickly reverts. 

John Carradine unveils Acquanetta in Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943). Title by helpful David Cairns.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Gorilla My Dreams

A word about fair Acquanetta:
As she-ape no starlet was betta.
She turned Southwest matron
And cultural patron
But fanboys will never forgetta.

Donald B. Benson


Acquanetta as the Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943). In 1953 Acquanetta married and moved to Arizona, where she became a local celebrity.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Gorilla Interrupted

An ape gets the glands of a broad
Takes a shape that a man can applaud
The creation's a "ten"
A sensation with men
But wait--this male fantasy's flawed.

Acquanetta is the Captive Wild Woman (Edward Dmytryk; 1943). We're going ape in the Countdown to Halloween.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

The Star Dispatched

On deadline they typeset a blurb
A headline, pure hype to disturb
One gorilla is real
One's a kill-crazy heel
Both ready to wipe out a burb

Well, even the "real" gorilla is a guy in a suit. The Gorilla (Allan Dwan; 1939) is a comedy horror film, and stars the Ritz Brothers, Anita Louise, Patsy Kelly, Lionel Atwill and Béla Lugosi.