Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Mute monster? Eschew such a role!
Bela wants scenes to chew: why play troll?
So the thing goes to Boris
Who flings his thesaurus
And he's haunting, imbued with a soul.
Bela Lugosi famously turned down role of the Monster in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931), feeling it didn't have any lines. The role went to Karloff, and helped to make him famous.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Man of mystery, shameless, perverse
In a mist he will gamely disperse
When he's shipped in a chest
It's equipped with a crest
Who could miss it? His name's in reverse.
Lon Chaney Jr. is "Count Alucard", aka the Son of Dracula (Robert Siodmak; 1943).
Friday, February 17, 2017
These gnarly film horrors are three
From snarling Pete Lorre you'll flee
While Bela Lugosi
With hell-spawn gets cozy
Boris Karloff will pour you some tea.
Bela Lugosi, Peter Lorre, and Boris Karloff have fun in You'll Find Out (David Butler; 1940). Title sandwich by Donald B. Benson.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Peter's loose-lipped and swilling, quite tight
Bela's sluiced to the gills every night
Amid drink strong and heady
One stinker stays steady
No abuse of distiller's delight.
Peter Lorre, Bela Lugosi, and Boris Karloff have fun in the otherwise forgettable You'll Find Out (David Butler; 1940).
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Once burned by a little ol' cross
You adjourned to start hitting the sauce
As the former king vamp,
Now performing in camp,
You've learned to submit to such dross.
Top: Edward Van Sloan and Bela Lugosi in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Above: Bela Lugosi and Ian Wilson in Mother Riley Meets the Vampire, also known as Vampire Over London and My Son the Vampire (John Gilling; 1952).
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
This bat wants to crash in your cellar
He's natty, his fashion sense stellar
But he'll do things perverse
To your beautiful nurse
For a rat he's a passionate feller.
Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) is visited by Baron Latos, aka Count Dracula (John Carradine): House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).
Monday, February 13, 2017
Half-shot, you've been losing plum roles.
Your lot? Playing peasants and proles.
No crown for the Count,
Now down for the count.
Ask not for whom, Bela, it tolls.
Donald B. Benson
In The Wolf Man (George Waggner; 1941), Lon Chaney Jr plays the title monster; In a supporting role, Bela Lugosi plays Bela the gypsy.
Friday, February 10, 2017
He'll select neither Zin nor Merlot
Will say "Blecch!" to a winning Bordeaux
Eschew juice of the grape
But cut loose on the nape
From the neck Bela's dinner doth flow.
Bela Lugosi goes for the throat of Helen Chandler in Dracula (Tod Browning, 1931).
Thursday, February 9, 2017
It's a shame your acclaim took a beating
But then, fame is a dame that is fleeting
Wags exclaim "He's a wrap!"
As your name adorns crap
Who can blame those who came to this 'meeting'?
No, Bela Lugosi doesn't play Bela Lugosi in Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (William Beaudine; 1952). His character's name is Dr Zabor.
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
The Bela that we know was scary
Till forced by the vino to tarry
With clowns Bud and Lou,
Mother Riley (It's true!),
And finally fake Dino and Jerry.
Donald B. Benson
Top: Bela Lugosi and Arthur Lucan (Mother Riley) in Mother Riley Meets the Vampires (1952). Above: Poster for Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (William Beaudine; 1952), co-starring nightclub comedians Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo in roles approximating the then popular duo of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Enthused, full of lust, almost drooling,
You used to bring gusto to ghouling
But you landed in traction
And abandoned all action
Now abusing, it's just too damn grueling.
Bela Lugosi contemplates his career trajectory in Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (William Beaudine; 1952). For many years, Lugosi had been receiving treatment for sciatic neuritis, and eventually he became addicted to morphine and methadone.
Monday, February 6, 2017
This werewolf is soggy and stinking
Not scary, just groggy and blinking
There's a reason he's bleary
And queasy, not eerie
It's the hair of the dog he's been drinking.
Lon Chaney Jr. as tormented Larry Talbot, The Wolf Man (George Waggner, 1941).